XtineFiles

Dear Lestat,

I am so sad for the people of New Orleans and the Gulf states. Are you ok? Of course I am aware that you are immortal, but I am still concerned, it is your home town and all.

I hope now you can use your powers for some good and help the folks in New Orleans and the surrounding areas. This could be the very redemption you've been seeking for 400 years.

My I suggest that you...

1. Inform people that playing, walking, drinking, driving or swimming in stagnant water that may be filled with chemicals, toxic waste, dead bodies, alligators and feces are how plagues start

2. Educate people about looting, explain to them that a flat screen tv has no purpose unless you have electricity

3. Fly over to the President's house and reprimand him for cutting funding in 2003 that would have reinforced the levees that are now in breach (funding was cut despite pleas from engineers)

4. After you clear that issue up with him ask him to stop using what is happening in New Orleans as a the perfect excuse for raising oil prices (again). And, remind him that releasing some barrels of crude oil will NOT improve his approval rating.

5. Please tell the lunnies to stop blaming the hurricane on abortion and homosexuality by comparing the shape of the hurricane to a fetus and instead focus more on helping the situation.

6. Finally Lestat, please explain to those who are too stupid to believe that the gulf of Mexico is 92degrees because of Global Warming.

Good Luck, this situation is getting worse by the second, they need all the help they can get. Oh and dont forget to donate some cash.

best,
Xtine

p.s. no money to donate? then donate your blood.

Dear Mimi,

I heard today from a reliable source that you may have had 'relations' with a certain 80s Beverly Hills Cop after the VMAs. Now, I'm not gonna say its true or a rumor but since I am one of your lambs I feel compelled to fill you in on the gossip (remember our moment several years back when I interviewed you and you called me your little lamb? That was nice wasn't it?). Anyway, I am so sorry that you had to perform outside during the VMAs, I am sure on some level that made you sad. I hope you didnt get the flu like popmuse.

But I am here for you Mariah. Sometimes I look at you and can tell that you are hanging on by a very tiny thread. And thats ok, we all have those moments. Read my post below...maybe we can find our center together (and then we will call up Ms. Love and Madonna because I think they could use some help too given all the broken bones and rehab stuff).

Hang in there, ok Mimi? Oh, and dont forget to donate some money to the folks down south who lost their homes to Katrina.

Best,
Xtine

In the midst of all the hurricane chaos, family drama, and work it is easy to loose one's center. So, I thought I would share a quote from a dear friend. I'm not going to interpret it for you, because you make of it what you wish.

I pass onto to you mytsilisa's pearl of wisdom:

"Girl, there's only so much one can cover on the surface before the area space runs out"

Sunday night left me in a TiVo conundrum. I had to watch the VMAs (though in retrospect I am not sure why). I also needed to record The 4400 because its almost the end of the season and still yet I needed to remain tuned into CNN because of Hurricane Katrina (I'm a breaking news junky)...the conundrum? No room for Rome on HBO.

Maybe I'm not ready to embrace a new HBO series, having not fully yet recovered from the loss of SFU. But Nonetheless I gave Rome a try tonight on HBO2.

Would someone please tell me why I'm watching Rome on HBO and not in mini series form on USA network? Sure there was some sex, but hell, I've seen Caligula and I am not so sure HBO will go that deep anyway so whats the point? As you have all read here, I'm a sucker for people dressed in costume and all, but I am not fully embracing Rome.

What do you think?

Today I decided to bid farewell to summer and ring in the sleepiness of fall with a trip to TarryTown and Sleepy Hollow, NY. Yes Sleepy Hollow is real and it is the place where the ghost of the Headless Horseman rides!

I seem to be traveling to places where people are compelled to wear costumes. Today was no different. I went to a farm and grist mill were women clad in 18th century garb milked cows the old fashion way and brewed their own rose water tea. You may ask, what is a grist mill? The answer my friends, I have no freakin idea (that tour was $20 so I skipped it).

Back to the horsemen without a head...

You can rent the Johnny Depp/ Chrisopher Walken movie if you like, or read the Washington Irving story. In short, the Legend of Sleepy Hollow takes place in 1787. It is the story of Ichabod Crane, Katrina Van Tassel and the Headless Horseman of the Hollow; a trooper who lost his head to a canon-ball during the Revolutionary War and who "rides forth to the scene of battle in nightly quest of his head."

Now, I didn't see any headless horsemen, but I see several castles, a farm, a lighthouse, and some antique shops. I ate in a local dinner where the wait staff promptly told me, "We only have hamburgers today". While I did notice other patrons dining on salads, soups, and vegetables, I ate my burger silently for fear of what would happen to me if I requested the local dish.

All things considered, it was great trip. Here are some useless facts about how to get rid of a problem ghost (or frustrate it to the point where it decides to take up residence elsewhere):

1. Talk to it loudly and tell it to go away

2. Sprinkle your home with Holy Water, tie garlic around all the door knobs, string hazelnuts above your door, paint your front door red

3. Call a Priest to do it for you

4. Ghosts have huge problems crossing a line of blessed sea salt, get some holy sea salt, draw a line and dare the ghost to cross it

5. Randomly toss split peas, rice or sand across the floor. Evidently ghosts are compelled to count every grain, and it seems that ghosts are bad counters. Do this two nights in a row and the ghost will get so frustrated it will leave

If that fails, you're screwed. Boo!

I just saw Dear Frankie on DVD. This film first came to my attention several years ago in Cannes. I passed up an opportunity to interview the film's star Gerard Butler because he was at the time, well, not really a star. That 'pass' is one of my greatest celebrity regrets. While Gerard Butler is now just gaining popularity in the US (check out his bio) I think he is sure to soon be a star (James Bond rumors!). Oh and did I mention I have a crush?

Dear Frankie is a sweet sweet film about a mother's love for her son. I recommend it, especially if you are looking for a film that makes you go "awe." Emily Mortimer plays Lizzie, a mother who is estranged from Frankie's father. After having responded to her son's numerous letters in the guise of his father, she hires a stranger to pose as his dad when meeting him.

Hot Actor Factor: 10
# of Times I kicked myself for passing on the interview: 44
# of Times I saw Phantom of The Opera in Theaters: 2 (lets keep that between us)
# of Times this film made me go "awe": 6
Bathroom visits: 2
Food Consumption during screening: 2 glasses of iced tea and 1 chocolate rice cake
# of Times I contemplated mailing a letter to myself: 0

Lesson learned: Consider this before you diss- the nobody of today can be the somebody of tomorrow!

I cannot control the spam that I get in my inbox. Most of the junk I get involves some sort of poll, survey or quiz I need to take. Today's spam subject matter was "Coke vs. Pepsi, you take the challenge."

For a moment I thought I was back inside summer 1987 during the height of the Pepsi Challenge days. I even remember gathering with all of the local kids and conducting our own version of the taste test. I have fond memories of the days when soda suddenly went clear. I also have a soft spot in my heart for the summer of the New Coke backlash. Soda seemed so much simpler then.

Today I'm overwhelmed by the cola wars, so overwhelmed I have actually started to crave tap water.
Is Coca Cola ZERO the new New Coke of today? What is ZERO anyway? If I wanted Cherry Coke shouldn't I just drink Dr. Pepper? If I wanted Lime Diet Pepsi wouldn't I just put a lime in it? What's up with that new Sprite? Why can't I get Diet Caffeine Free Vanilla Coca-Cola? Where did C2 suddenly go? Why does Coca Cola with Lemon taste like Mountain Fresh Liquid Tide?

So many questions, I know, which brings me to my point. I dont think this non committal over stimulated choiced out world is ready for another Pepsi Challenge, do you?

By now I am sure you have all heard that Olivia Newton John's boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, vanished while on a fishing expedition off the California coast late last month. Relatives reported him missing after they found his car parked in the marina and his boat at sea with his ID and passport still on board.

When I first heard about the show Tommy Lee Goes to College I was like WTF! Having never been a Motley Crue or Tommy Lee fan I shrugged off the show as more mindless mid summer TV junk. Then I watched tonight's episode and I'm shocked that I actually liked it. It is refreshing see a celebrity being forced to work hard while being kicked around by college kids (after all, how many 18 year olds really care about Tommy Lee?).

In tonight's episode Tommy Lee had to learn how to be a drummer in the school marching band. I am sure you are thinking, yeah right, he's a drummer how hard can that be? But he had to work really hard to learn how to play the marching music and learn how to do all of the floor routines (and lets not forget the uniform). After a lot of hard work he prevailed.

It is not everyday that you get to see a celebrity working hard. I think there are bunch of celebrities out there that can do with a good dose of humility and take a page from Tommy's book.

Here are some other shows that in my opinion are rising above the late summer clutter. At the very least they are a nice break from the depression that Six Feet Under left us in.


Over There
Greg the Bunny
the Festival
Hopeless Pictures
Rescue Me
Battlestar Galactica

Thanks to a hot tip from LL, here is where you can buy your very own traveling Gnome. "Remember, the big fun isn't just where your gnomes go, it's how they got there and what they're doing."

Now you can send your garden gnome across the country or around the world and track it to see where it is! Give them to friends, take them with you wherever you go! It's up to you! Send them out into the world separately, or together. Track your gnomes' adventures online through stories and pictures posted by Guardians (a Guardian is anyone who is helping your Gnomads character fulfill its adventure)...

Godspeed little Gnome, Godspeed.

Vacation has come to end. The last stop was, and I shit you not, The "Renaissance Faire" in Tuxedo, NY. I got my medieval geek on, embraced my inner Paltrow and went head first into the Shakespearean abyss. The Ren Fest or rather Where off off off off Broadway actors go to spend their summer practicing English accents, is really a good time if you are into that sort of thing. (Yes, MBP, you can make fun of me all you want, you loved Comicon!).

I spent the day being called a wench, watching jousts, observing a human chess game, bearing witness to a beheading, eating steak on a stake, drinking mead (honey wine), viewing Twelfth Night in "Sherwood Forrest", getting my palm read, and mingling with ye local folk (loyal subjects, Lords and Ladies, gentlewoman of the shire, goodwives of the village, Knights, Sirs and Masters).

I almost bought a cape (or is a cloak?) but after a phone call from MBP (who said if I went through with the purchase I would be laughed out of Hollywood) I instead bought a clay garden gnome (even though I do not have a garden).

Here are some useless facts about A Long Time Ago, fairies and what not:

1. A Sprite is sort of a combination between an elf and a fairy, they hide in the woods and if you see them, a huge amount of good luck will come your way (I think my gnome is actually a sprite)

2. To challenge someone to a sword fight, joust, or any other public match all one needs to do is toss a leather glove in their face

3. When in doubt, dress like a pirate

4. Despite sluggish record sales music played on a fiddle, mandolin, harp or bodhran is still all the rage in the shire

5. When jousting in combat always apply one-third of stun & body damage against your own defenses (you are sure to un horse your attacker).

Am I scaring you? 'Cause I'm scaring myself.

Farewell My Friends.

Thanks to a tip from TCho I finally was able to see the Robbie Williams performance from Live 8 that American television thought I did not need to see on the day of the event. Why I hadn't realized Live 8 performances are on AOL on demand I will never know (and here I was ready to wait the 10 years for the DVD box set). Back to Robbie...

Robbie did 4 songs. I wept uncontrollably when he sang Angels and I tasted a bit a heaven when he launched into the lyric, "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" during Let Me Entertain You. (For those of you who get that reference -- can you see how something like that could kill me? For those of you who don't read my previous post).

Tcho feels Robbie let the audience sing along too much but for me, well, ROBBIE CAN DO ANYTHING HE WANTS.

I'm feeling a love letter to Robbie coming on soon, but for now watch.

Dear Brandon,

Why you gotta be so damn cute? It is almost rude of you to be that cute. Your cuteness is making it nearly impossible for me to date, after all, no one is as cute as you.

By the way, I'm sorry I have slacked off on getting tickets to your show at Jones Beach, I promise if some free VIP ones don't come through I will break down and buy them. But to be honest, I am afraid I will embarrass myself at the show, what if I cry like a little girl? What if you call another girl up on stage and I have a jealousy induced meltdown? What will I do?

Regardless, keep up the good work. As you know, I feel that The Killers are solely responsible for making Glam cool again. And for that I love you even more.

Vegas baby! Vegas!

All the Best,
Xtine

Enteral Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is on HBO this month and even though I have seen it 1000 times (and own it on DVD) I couldn't resist the urge, I had to watch it again. This film is hands down one of my favorites of all time.

I remember going to see it in Union Square on a cold winter day in NYC. I sat there in a packed theater and allowed myself to fall in love with falling in love. Everything about Joel and Clementine makes sense. I cried my head off and had swollen eyes for days. I love this film!

WOW meter: 10
Hot Actor Factor: 10 (l love Jim Carrey in drama, especially when he cries)
#of Minutes I considered dying my hair blue: 5mins
Bathroom Visits: 0
#of orange sweatshirts I own: 1
# if times I've taken the train to Montauk in the dead of winter in search of my Joel: 0 (but I think I'll do that this winter- it is time)
Prediction on when Jim Carrey will finally win an Oscar: Never, the Academy is too dumb

Yesturday's vacation stop was Long Island's "Wine Country" or 'Napa East" as the local folk call it (nah, I'm kidding they dont really call it that). I visited several vineyards, did some wine tasting, and took a winery tour. I kept expecting to run into Kate Capshaw for some reason, but no such luck (she must have been shopping in the Hamptons with Spielberg).

Anyway, here are some useless facts about wine, grapes, and what not:

1. That white film on grapes is the grape's natural sunblock
2. The corks in wine bottles are from a specific tree called the Cork Oak
3. The oak barrels used to age wine are made in France and cost $800 each
4. Always start your wine tasting with white wine and end with port
5. People get very drunk at wine tastings

Scariest drunk of the day:
An older lady at the wine tasting turned to me and said, "Would you be shocked if I kissed you on the lips?"- that was my cue to put down the cabernet and exit the building.

I am pretty sure this is a hoax, but just for a second, close your eyes and imagine it to be true. How much fun that would be!

(at least there would be Universal mental healthcare)

www.walken2008.com

Some of you know this about me, some of you dont.

I love little old ladies, specifically little old Italian ladies like my grandmother. Last night I had dinner at Grandma's house and we were talking about life. She said a phrase that I have never heard before but will certainly use now that I know its meaning.

So I give you xtine's grandma's pearl of wisdom, use this phrase when you feel the need:

"Only the spoon knows whats in the pot"

Dear Madonna,

I am so sorry to hear about your recent horse riding debacle in the country. A broken collar bone, three cracked ribs and several other undisclosed broken bones has gotta hurt. Not to sound cold but I really hope that this accident doesn't delay your new album release. As you know, showing your broken bones in public will score you extra points for sympathy, you should consider asking Dolce and Gabbana to design you a couture sling. Nonetheless, bummer that you had such a crappy 47th birthday. Get Well Soon.

Best,
Xtine

I've been spending most of my vacation road tripping. It is vacation day #4 and so far I've logged 680miles. Here are my top 5 road tripping driving songs:

1. "Tour de France" - Kraftwerk
2. "Beautiful Day" - U2
3. "Road to Mandalay"- Robbie Williams
4. "Love Will Tear Us Apart" - Joy Division
5. "More Than This" - Roxy Music

I went on a little vacation to Hull, Massachusetts. It is a charming New England town halfway between Boston and Cape Cod. Last night my friend VS and I decided to take in some local eats. She, being a local resident of Hull, knew exactly where to take me.

We went to Bridgemans. It is one of these delightful restaurants that has an open kitchen that you can see from the dining area. When I entered the restaurant my eyes naturally gravitated to the kitchen. And to my shock and awe, standing behind the stove cooking up some shrimp was Mark Wahlberg.

Ok, it wasn't Mark, it was Donnie Wahlberg. All right it wasn't Donnie either. It was actually Paul Wahlberg. (how many Wahlberg brothers are there?). Paul Wahlberg (who looks exactly like a Wahlberg looks) is the chef and owner of Bridgemens. And I was amazed, I mean, do you know what its like eating in a restaurant when the guy cooking your meal looks kinda like Marky Wahlberg?

The food was delicious (he is a really great chef!), the atmosphere was fantastic and throughout my dinner I couldn't help but wonder if the meal I was eating had ever been prepared for and eaten by Mark Wahlberg. And that's food for thought!

I've been Tagged by byf. Here are the five songs I dig right this second:

"What If" - Coldplay
"Defective"- Crystal Method
"My Name is Trouble"- Nightmare of You
"Dear Scene, I Wish I Were Deaf"- Nightmare of You
"Believe Me Natalie"- The Killers

Everyone is gossiping about Courtney Love's freaked out meltdown at Comedy Central's roast for Pamela Anderson. I've read some of the gossip and most of it is down right nasty. I'm sorry but I am sticking up for Courtney on this one. People trash her when she is a nutty junky and then they trash her when she is calm and fat. What's a girl to do?

The truth is people want her to be crazy and we need her to go nuts because we love her over the top melodramatic epic antics. The crazier Courtney is, the more sane we feel. And you know what? That's a lot of responsibility we are asking of someone who is as fragile as Courtney.

Deep down inside, there is a little bit of Courtney in all of us. Admit it.

Yesturday in a freak office dusting accident the cleaning people must have changed my tv channel from CNN to Channel 3. All day, each time I looked at the TV I saw an infomercial. I dismissed this, thinking to myself how odd, CNN is running a lot of day time infomercials. It wasn't until 5:12pm that I noticed the TV was actually not on CNN it was on an informercial channel.

The infomercial that I saw most was for "Superstars of Country, The Collection" hosted by Kenny Rogers. I'll resist the urge to script out an SNL skit, instead I will give you some of the more interesting song titles that invaded my day (and YES these are real songs):

1. Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
2. If I Were a Carpenter
3. Mama Dont Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
4. Delta Dawn
5. Heaven's Just a Sin Away
6. If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me
7. The Carroll County Accident
8. She's Actin' Single And I'm Drinking Doubles
9. Holding Her and Loving You
10. Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine

I have decided to work through my infomercial audio induced trama by acting it out in the form of a contest (note: no prizes will be given). We'll call the contest "Create your own song title" post your ideas here.

I received an advanced copy of Depeche Mode's new single "Precious."

I'm not usually into doing music reviews because it is really hard to put into words the feelings I get from a song. What I can say is that it is so very amazing that Depeche Mode is back! Precious reminds me of Enjoy The Silence in sound, lyric and feeling. I'm hoping the rest of the album will echo the sounds of DM's past (going back to Violator is a good start). I really really really enjoyed this song.

I cant give you the song but I can give you the lyrics. The song was played last night on BBC 1 so I am sure if you tool around on the internet you'll be able to find, at least, a sample of it.

Dear Gillian,

Sorry I missed your birthday on Tuesday. Hey dont you think its weird that you and David Duchovny have birthdays within 2 days of each other? Anyway, I'm writing to wish you well but to also remind you to reach out and give David a call. He's all blue these days. Call him, say happy birthday and then discuss reprising your roles as Mulder and Scully for the X Files 2. Ok? Thanks.

All the best,
Xtine

I rented Birth. Nicole Kidman is stalked by a 10yr old boy who is allegedly the reincarnated soul of her dead husband. I was expecting to hate this film but actually I sort of liked it. Niki Kid does really well in these ice princess roles (I'm sure she had lots of practice working on the 'I feel faint yet I have the urge to kill you' stare when she was married to Cruisazy). There is a scene when she is at the Opera and the camera sits stationary on her as she slowly has a melt down. You could feel her channeling the 'no I wont join your cult!' moment.

# of times I pondered how the hair department got her locks into that awful wig: 8
# of minutes it took me to get used to the awful wig: 26minutes
Lauren Bacall as Nicole's on screen mom: A+ (what a match!)
Approx. Cost of the NYC duplex featured in the film : $8.9Million
Probability that Cameron Bright (the boy) will be the new Haley Joel Osmett: 14.3%

Fun fact: Cameron Bright is in production on another film, who is his next leading lady? Katie Holmes.

Dougie's girlfriend CV's friend DM has a t-shirt company, Modern Planet. Normally xtinefiles is advert free, but this stuff is very cool.

I'm wearing headphones now but I think I need to get the b'fast club one PDQ.

Dear David,

I am so sorry I missed your birthday on Sunday. How was the party? Did you eat vegetarian snacks and a piece of tofutti ice cream cake?

I know you have been really bummed lately about the less that expected success of your film House of D. So, would you consider lets say, doing what you do best? I think the world has waited long enough for The X-Files 2 movie. I mean how hard can it be? You put on one of those Hugo Boss outfits, you run around chasing aliens for a couple of months and then, like magic, you become A list again.

So consider this on the week of your 45th birthday, do another X Files movie. I hate to beg, but your fans really miss you. PLEASE!

All the best,
Xtine

After interviewing myself I have learned that Robby Benson was the source of my childhood melodrama. So, where is Robby now?

I've done some investigating. Everything listed in his bio on imdb is a mystery to me. He did do the voice of the Beast in Disney's Beauty and the Beast (what the f*ck?). He also directed an episode of Friends in 1994 (thanks pop muse for the tip). A google search produced his official site which led me to information on a musical he wrote and starred on b'way in 2004 called Open Heart (what the f*ck?). The music is available on CD, I'm not buying it. As you can imagine, the show is no longer on b'way and Robby is once again missing...

Until now...

... Robby Benson is a visiting professor of film at the University of Utah College of Fine Arts.

I left a message at the main number. I'm hoping he'll do lunch when I am in Utah in January.

I have decide to put my interview skills to good use and interview myself. Here goes:

Q. Of all the movies you have seen which had the coolest fashion accessory?
A. Hands down. The hat that Debra Winger wore in An Officer and A Gentleman. Way to go Paula!

Q. What was the first movie you saw that made you cry?
A. Ice Castles in 1978 staring Robby Benson. I got so upset when she goes blind and tries to skate anyway. I also remember crying during the Wizard of OZ when my parents told me Dorothy was dead (they meant that the lady playing Dorothy got old, drank too much booze, took too many pills and died but I was too young to understand that movie characters and actors where not the same).

Q. What was the second movie you saw that made you cry?
A. The Chosen (1981) again starring Robby Benson.

Q. What are four things that you are afraid of?
A. Clowns, non animated talking animals, disembodied heads (or body parts), driving in Los Angeles

Q. What is your favorite Madonna era?
A. Ray of Light

Q. Vanity Fair always asks 'which phrase or words to you overuse' so?
A. I overuse "Quite frankly." My boss says when I say 'quite frankly' I really mean "You f*cking asshole" and there is truth to that

Q. The best time you ever had in NYC was?
A. The night I saw Baz Luhrmann's version of La Boheme with my friend JP. We got all dressed up and went to the show. It was still in previews so Baz came out and did an introduction. After the show we walked around NYC and ended up at our favorite French restaurant.

Q. If you regret one thing from your childhood what would it be?
A. Never learning how to play the piano

# posted by Xtine @ 8:38 PM 3 comments

www.thebravery.com