Sunday, December 31, 2006



This year movies pretty much stank. The Oscars are going to be a joke. In fact, the Oscars are a joke! An antiquated system governed by antiquated people. So, here on Xtinefiles, I'm making my own rules. Movies of the Year go to films that made me scream YEAAAHHHH while holding back droplets of pee pee.

I hate to be graphic, but come on for a minute! Movies are supposed to keep you on the edge of your seat. They are supposed to make you want more as they throw you head on into the abyss of all that is real and unreal. They should make you think, feel, cringe, cry and scream. That is what movies are supposed to do. Period.

Movie of the Year...
BORAT: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

* lets just make one thing perfectly clear...if Leo DiCaprio, Marty and Departed don't win some sort of Oscar I'm quitting da bizness. (And the Golden Globes do not count because have you ever met a member of the Hollywood foreign press? Thought not.)

I shall name my first born Leonardo Kal-El.

End Year.

Friday, December 29, 2006


What Will Be Movie of the Year????

Tune in New Years Eve!



1. Beyonce.
Ms. Knowles tops the list because she is a star with out the raucous. In a recent interview with Diane Sawyer, Beyonce admits that the most important thing to her right now is going home to her mom's house where she will spend the week eating fried turkey. Now, what other female celeb will admit to eating, no less eating fried turkey? bon appetite Beyonce.

2. Nancy Pelosi.
She'll be the first woman speaker of the house in US history when the congress hands over power in January. Her first order of business? Having a four day party to celebrate this historic occasion. Go Nancy Go Nancy Go!

3. Diane Sawyer.
She dresses like a Wisconsin librarian, forgetting at every turn that she is on TV and people are watching. But perhaps thats just what is most brilliant about her. The work comes first, the glamour comes second.

4. Madonna.
She cant do anything right. She's been unfairly 'crucified' in the media for the adoption of baby David, thus proving the theory that people just dont like it when celebrities do good things. Keep up the good work Madge.

5. Barbara Walters.
Say what you want about baba, she gets huge props for standing behind Rosie O'Donnell for blasting that sue happy Donald Trump (so far, that is). She also gets a big nod for her very human, funny, and genuine interaction with the Dali Lama in her recent special on Heaven.



1. George Clooney.
Its simple. People know what Darfur is because of him.

2. Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat.
Inbetween the sex jokes, the mispronunciations and one very large bag of poop, Borat has pointed out all of our flaws in this supposed civilized nation.

3. Martin Scorsese.
Once again Scorsese has delivered a Oscar winning movie that will probably NOT earn him the Oscar. See the Departed, weep for him in February.

4. Bono and Russell Simmons (tied).
Busy dudes? Hell yes. Time for the people? Hell yes.

5. Anderson Cooper.
Wherever the world needs him, he goes. He's been battered by hurricanes, moved to tears by humanitarian crisis, and nearly died when Hezbollah rockets flew past his head in Haifa. For those things alone, he must be on a best list!

Thursday, December 28, 2006



Doctor Who




1. The Beauty Academy of Kabul (dir. Liz Mermin)
3. So Goes The Nation (dir. Adam Del Deo and James D. Stern)
4. This Film Is Not Yet Rated (dir. Kirby Dick)
5. Word Play (dir. Patrick Creadon)
6. The Gospel of Judas


Ad Campaign of the Year

1. Star Wars on Cinemax set to Coldplay.
2. The Gieco Ads. Caveman goes to the therapist.
3. The GAP: Audrey Hepburn Back In Black

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


Best Live TV Moments of the Year

Best Live TV Moments of the Year (world wide)

1. Borat on Letterman
2. Thom York on The Henry Rollins Show
3. The Head Butt heard around the world
4. Muse on the MTV Europe Awards
5. Ozzy Osbourne on the Henry Rollins Show
6. Matt Lauer vs. George Bush on the Today show
7. Nancy Pelosi wins the house


Parody of the Year

The Barry Gibb Talk Show.

Talking politics and the the issues of the day.

Talking it up.

(check out 2nd place too)

Saturday, December 23, 2006


Coming Soon...

The 2nd Annual
Xtinefiles Year-End BEST OF Special

Saturday, December 02, 2006


Tiny Tim and What Not...

Top reasons why I am very excited to go to London:

5. I've been to England twice, but never around Christmas time. I'm into the idea of an English Christmas, and the folks at work have dared me to taste some figgy pudding.

4. I'm looking forward to getting all of my News from BBC1, HELLO!, OK, The Telegraph, and Sky sports.

3. It is going to be really interesting to see if the above News will be reporting on a) the war in Iraq b) crisis in the Middle east c) radiation poisoning in London d) American politics all with same fear, fury, and spin as like I am seeing on my TV right now here in the US

2. "Welcome to the Virgin Mega Store, Piccadilly Circus" boom cha boom cha boom cha. "Whats the lemon?" Time babies, time...cockney rhyming slang. oh yes.

1. Maybe Robbie will be there too.

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