Sunday, August 21, 2005


Living the Shire Life thyne Wenches!

Vacation has come to end. The last stop was, and I shit you not, The "Renaissance Faire" in Tuxedo, NY. I got my medieval geek on, embraced my inner Paltrow and went head first into the Shakespearean abyss. The Ren Fest or rather Where off off off off Broadway actors go to spend their summer practicing English accents, is really a good time if you are into that sort of thing. (Yes, MBP, you can make fun of me all you want, you loved Comicon!).

I spent the day being called a wench, watching jousts, observing a human chess game, bearing witness to a beheading, eating steak on a stake, drinking mead (honey wine), viewing Twelfth Night in "Sherwood Forrest", getting my palm read, and mingling with ye local folk (loyal subjects, Lords and Ladies, gentlewoman of the shire, goodwives of the village, Knights, Sirs and Masters).

I almost bought a cape (or is a cloak?) but after a phone call from MBP (who said if I went through with the purchase I would be laughed out of Hollywood) I instead bought a clay garden gnome (even though I do not have a garden).

Here are some useless facts about A Long Time Ago, fairies and what not:

1. A Sprite is sort of a combination between an elf and a fairy, they hide in the woods and if you see them, a huge amount of good luck will come your way (I think my gnome is actually a sprite)

2. To challenge someone to a sword fight, joust, or any other public match all one needs to do is toss a leather glove in their face

3. When in doubt, dress like a pirate

4. Despite sluggish record sales music played on a fiddle, mandolin, harp or bodhran is still all the rage in the shire

5. When jousting in combat always apply one-third of stun & body damage against your own defenses (you are sure to un horse your attacker).

Am I scaring you? 'Cause I'm scaring myself.

I went to the Michigan Renaissance Festival once. I am almost too deeply embarrassed to admit this. It was an OK time, actually. My friend Shira and I faux-fenced, with the goal being to pop the balloon on top of the other's head. (I won.)
Any chance you ran into the wordsmith? I believe he was reciting sonnets and (for some reason) haikus. Let's just say you should have recognized him if you did!
I remember the last time my company sent me to a comic/sf/fantasy convention, they had medieval dueling on the front lawn. There was a roped off area where this dude in armor with a sword(hopefully dull) and shield would meet challengers from the crowd, who would be fitted with basic head and chest armor and given a sword or ax or hammer of their own. As I watched adults playfight in this manner, my mind drifted back to childhood, to the days of garbage can lids and sticks or whiffleball bats. They seemed to be reclaiming childhood as much as earlier medieval eras.
this MBP cat is very smart! PopMuse thinks celebrities should start throwing leather gloves in the faces of the Papparazzi.
Thank you for risking chinks to your reputation for the good of your blog; sacrifice endears you to your readers! And I love that you have a Garden Gnome and no garden. I will adopt him if he develops any neuroses as a result of living indoors.
Oh I didn't realize they had those here in NY. My friend went to one in Berkeley and being the gutter-minded guy that he is, all he could think of were the strong sexual overtones--guys in loin cloths (I have no idea why there were loin cloths at a Renaissance fair), and women with their breasts rammed into their dresses. He also was very excited to try the turkey legs, but found them very underwhelming.
I know that Renaissance Festivals are a safe haven for displaced drama kids ("Wouldn't it be hysterical if we talked in English accents today for no reason!"), whom I try to avoid at all costs, but I'll admit it, I enjoy woodland creatures and big slabs of meat. My concept of sprites before this educational report, though, was horribly misinformed by a youth filled with Rainbow Brite's Sprites, the plush dolls of which I had in every color.
Speaking of garden gnome's, apparently there is a website where you can purchase a traveling gnome, similar to one's in the Travelocity commercials. The gnome comes with documents of all sorts and you get webspace to post photo's of your gnome with the various locations you've visited in the background. You can even send your gnome to someone else for them to take it on a trip.

I'll have to find the website but I just thought it was fairly funny.

love the gnome purchase.
i'd get one, but the cats would hate the competition.
Lindak-- I saw him! He kind of looks like Christopher Lee.
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