Thursday, April 12, 2007

 

Monday, April 02, 2007

 

Do As I Say!!!




go here now

set your Tivo.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

 

Oh Trent!


Trent Reznor lives!

It seems like he has been gone for quite a bit and there were rumours in LA for like two solid years that he became one of the departed. The living proof? I just got an advance of the new NIN cd. It is pretty great.

All this time I thought Trent was dead in the Mojave desert. But I was wrong, Trent is not dead, he's just been at the gym. Dare I say, he's now hot in that post goth way. Shaved head, buff body and all. Am I nuts? Maybe a little bit. Perhaps I've just been sleeping too much.

check this out...performing Bela Lugosi's Dead w/ Peter Murphy. (one of the best songs of all time, remember the Hunger?)



Sunday, March 25, 2007

 

Ed vs. Spencer and What Not


I've been home...sick all weekend. As a result I've gotten myself caught up in several cable tv marathons interspersed with an occasional flick. Here is how Xtine spent her weekend.

Ed vs Spencer.
I pray you have BBC America! Ed v. Spencer is a non-fiction series (I prefer to not use the word "reality") where Ed and Spencer are the best of friends (with a competitive edge). Each week they challenge each other to a ridiculous competition. From "who can get the sickes" to who can "earn the most money in a day." The show is utterly entertaining, fun, and lets face it both Ed and Spencer are very easy on the eyes. I think I like Spencer better.

Gene Simmons Family Jewels.
When this series first hit A&E I shrugged it off as an Osbourne's copy. And sure enough it is an Osbournes copy. But I watched every episode and needless to say I am hooked. One day I'll do a side by side caparison of both shows; both wives are named Sharon, there is a son and a daughter. Yadda yadda. But for now what I find most interesting is this show is funnier than the Osbournes. Where the only funny thing was trying to understand Ozzy. Gene on the other hand is totally articulate. Must be the tongue (ewwww). Tonight is the premiere of Season 2. Cant wait.

How Clean Is Your House?

I love this show. I have always caught bits and pieces but this weekend I was caught in a marathon. Perhaps its the quick wit of those lovely English ladies sniffing all the people's dirties or perhaps its just that this show makes me feel better about my own clutter.

Underworld: Evolution
I dont like Kate Beckinsale. Perhaps it was the moment in Pearl Harbor after the place got leveled. She lovingly looks at Ben Affleck and says, "You left and then all this happened," as she points to the burning wreckage. All this? Meaning? Pearl Harbor?? Either way, her role in Underworld ROCKS making me rethink my dislike of her. Underworld 2 was not nearly as good as Underworld 1 but nevertheless I enjoyed it.

Jerry Maguire.
Every time this movie is on I have to watch it. I guess deep down inside it is remains one of my guilty pleasure films. Perhaps it reminds me of a time when Tom Cruise seemed normal and likable. Oh well.

The end.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

 

The Joshua Tree Turns 20




and I am officially ancient...

read this post and watch the clips please.


I cant discuss the meaning of this for me right now, its too emotional. Perhaps, some feelings are best left unspoken.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

 

This Is SPAARTAAAA!!!!!


300 is my porn equivalent. Stunning visuals, a loud layered score, men dressed in leather speedos, steel boots and red capes throwing spears and shields. Really. What could be better? And even though I tried dating Greek once before and it ended horribly, I've been inspired to try again (note to self...even though the cast was mostly not Greek, its the idea that counts). But that is a story for another day.

Its no wonder 300 was borne of a Graphic Novel. All the good movies these days seem to be in one way or another. And even though one can compare the violence in this film to that of Sin City you can't compare apples to oranges even if they are grown in the same state. Or something like that.

It was especially interesting seeing this film in my very Greek neighborhood. "That's not very historically accurate" said one woman only after pointing out to her date that she has a bit of Spartan blood in her.

Histrionics aside. This film kicked ass. And the oozing bliss of this film aside it's simple message happens to be a very good one (except for the baby throwing of course).

Hot Actor Factor: 100 on a scale of 100 (I love you Gerard Butler, always have)
Quotability Factor: 100 (my boss actually said in a meeting this week when referring to a rival company, "If they go after me, that would be very stupid of them, it would be WAR!")
Cry Meter: 0
# Of Motivational Spartan pre-battle speeches: 46
# Of Times I wished King Gerard Butler would say "THIS IS SPARTA" again: 8
# Of Times I pondered Gerard Butler's abs: 117
Running time of the film: 117 minutes

Monday, February 26, 2007

 

All Hail SCORSESE!!!





Amen.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

 

MEGA BOOKSTORES!


Every Sunday I go to the very large commercial bookstore in my neighborhood. I go there because there was a time when I liked book stores and old habits dont go away so easily.

I remember a time when book stores (even the big ones) were quiet. I MEAN SILENT! Sadly times have changed. Book shops are now mega bookstores. They are sort of like a Costco or Best Buy for books. Where by loud music echos throughout the store, milk is being steamed to perfection as it bellows from the cappuccino machines, and small children are encouraged to run around screaming.

I'm all for Americans reading more but I cant say for sure if any reading is actually going on. In fact I cant quite understand why so many people are there in the first place.

You cant thumb through a new novel that you may want to buy because you would need to actually pull a book off a shelf first. This task is impossible to do unless you are willing to you climb over packs of children that litter the isles using book shelves as leaning posts and head rests. You cant sample a chapter of that new political biography because even if you make it to the shelf you cant actually hear your inside voice read over the noise of Dido singing about "going down with the ship" on the store's stereo system. You cant even read a magazine because the local chapter of Moms with Attitude are holding a town meeting about alternate side of the street parking and the new neighborhood hair salon in the magazine section.

The only section of the store I can find any kind of peace is in the Religion and Middle Eastern studies section which is sort of ironic. Its the only section of the store that has not been colonized by the suburban American beasts that do nothing but drink Green Tea Frappaccino's and catch up on local gossip while other shoppers watch them wishing Hilary Clinton's "It Takes A Village" really gave permission to scare other people's children into obedient silence.

For the third week in a row I have come home with a book about the religions of the world. This weeks purchase was Jerusalem: One City Three Faiths last week's purchase was The Fight For Jerusalem. Interesting reading, yes. But in a sea of books could I dare hope to find something else? Nope.

I used to like book stores. I like reading. I like browsing for new ideas. I dont want to buy my books on-line. I miss the old lady in the reading glasses with her gray hair pulled back in a bun shhusshing everyone. I want my damn bookstore back.

So when did this happen? Has the bookstore truly gone the mega route? Is nothing sacred anymore.

Perhaps I need to renew the good old library card. Or do they play out dated pop music there too?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

 

This Little Piggy Went To...


Tomorrow is Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Mongolian, etc NEW YEAR.

2007 is knows as the year of the Pig (actually its a Boar). It is also known by its former name of Ding Hai. Or as I like to call it, "keep eating porky, and you'll need to buy new clothes"

Some fun facts:

"Its better to give than to receive" would probably be the Pig’s motto

Famous people born in the Year Of The Pig include Hillary Rodham Clinton, Nigella Lawson, Sarah Ferguson, Julie Andrews, Winona Ryder, Marie Osmond, Jenna Elfman, Shannen Doherty, Camilla Parker-Bowles, Paula Yates, Marie Antoinette, Christina Applegate, Ginger Rogers, Lucille Ball, Humphrey Bogart, Thomas Jefferson, Ernest Hemingway, Alfred Hitchcock, Mahalia Jackson, Letterman and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Friday, February 02, 2007

 

Air Travel


I had only a few days home between Israel and heading to Utah for the Sundance Film Festival. I got a cold sometime after I got home from Tel Aviv. I got rid of that cold in Utah, only to get a whole new cold after I got home from Utah. A wise friend of mine said, "You just need to stay off of airplanes for a while." And its true, I've pretty much flew around the world in 40 days. London, Israel, and the less exotic Utah. The frequent flyer miles pile up but man does the body hurt. And lets face it, flying pretty much sucks. I sat in business class to London and Israel but felt the pain of coach on my trip to Utah. Which brings us to the topic of this post.

Exit Rows.

My sister just got home from a trip and has confessed to me that her policy on planes is to request and in some cases DEMAND the exit row. And I don't blame her. There was a time in my adolescent days of business travel that I too would opt for the Exit row. You get more leg room, wonderful nods of appreciation from your fellow travelers and a sense of human heroic obligation.

Now, in the heyday of my business traveling life I push over babies waiting in line, I flash my Gold Member Mile card at every turn and I plow past the greetings of the pleasant flight attendants all in the quest of getting that coveted overhead bin space. I've earned the right to board first, get overhead space first, be belted up first, and get the lone pillow first. Mostly I've earned the right to be the first to be knocked out cold from enough Xanax and in some cases Booze and Xanax that would quiet a medium size sheep dog who was forced to sleep on a bed a push pins.

I no longer can request Exit rows because on air planes, I am no longer qualified. I leave that duty to the more alert folks on board who appreciate the leg room and relish in the opportunity to do their civic duty should they be required. Or so I thought!

On my sister's most recent flight she sat in the Exit row as per her new policy. And the very strong man seated next to her proceeded to drink 4 bottles of wine during the flight. Rendering him not drunk enough to cause an emergency landing in Dallas, but just drunk enough to make him utterly useless in the event he needed to open the door and perform the duty that befalls one who sits in the Exit row. My sister was alone, carrying the burden that no person should carry alone, regardless of their upper body strength.

Thankfully no such duties where needed on her flight. But it does beg for some questioning. Shouldn't the PA system that announces emergency procedures be revised and shouldn't new rules be applied? Instead of, "If you are seating in an emergency row and can not perform the duties please notify the flight attendant blah blah blah" (Which basically means, 'If you are to much of a sissy and if you are dumb enough to give up the extra leg room, raise you hand'). I would much prefer the announcements set some ground rules. For example, refraining from getting wasted, falling asleep or popping so many pills so that in the event your services are needed you are actually able to perform them.

In fact, the only thing you should be allowed to do on a plane in an Exit row is pray that you don't have to perform your duties.

I vote for change my friends. Someone's gotta do it, and that someone is not me.

Friday, January 26, 2007

 

Israel- last post





Whatever your faith, this is how God says "goodnight" in Jerusalem


...lights will guide you home

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

 

More from Israel



In addition to the spirituality, the warmth of the people, the seriousness of the politics, here are some of the other things I loved about Israel...

1. My new friend Henry refers to the hummus in Israel as "sex in a bowl." He is right. It is one of the best things you will ever taste.

2. Mud from the Dead Sea heals everything. The Dead Sea is the lowest point on earth. It has a salt content so high that it will kill you if you swallow a gulp. However, the mud from the sea floor is magic. I had exczema on part of my left hand for weeks. On Sunday I stuck my left hand into the sea and into the mud. It burned like hell for about five minutes, but since then the exczema has cleared up. My hand is not even red any more. Amazing!

3. You can buy a bag of anything for less than 20 Shekels (about $4.00). Bags of dates, bags of beads, bags of bread, bags of salt, bags of hot jelebi (fried dough-yummm!)...you get the point.

4. Everything in the arab quarter of the old city in Jerusalem costs 40% less than the price they originally ask you for. I was walking down a tiny street past Station of the Cross III and a man jumped out from an alley way and said to me, "You want car? I have nice car for you American lady, good price." And then a little kid rode by on a bicycle and spit on me (but thats for a different list).

5. Everything is cooked in copious amounts of olive oil (the green kind!)

6. Almost every day they (I dont know who they is) clean away all of the paper prayers and wishes that people place in the cracks and crevices of the Western Wall. They bury the wishes and prayers in holy ground, making room in the wall for more wishes.

7. Hebrew is written from right to left. Why? Because Hebrew is an ancient language and before the days of paper and note pads things needed to be etched and carved in stone. Given that most of the population then and now is right handed it was and is much easier to carve out letters from right to left than the reverse. One holds the carving instrument at an angle in the left hand and bangs a mallet with the right, thus creating letters from right to left.

8. "Fish" means shell fish (shrimp, calamari, etc) "Meat" means other kinds of fish (a.k.a. salmon) and also meat like red meat and poultry.

9. Camels have a punk rock attitude like no other animal

10. When Israelis speak Hebrew they speak like Israelis, when the speak English they speak like New Yorkers.

11. All signs are written in Hebrew and Arabic. Every sign you look at is a fantastical graphic design (for those of us that dont speak Hebrew or Arabic)

12. Tel Aviv clubs and bars play huge amounts of Depeche Mode and the Cure

13. I wanted to get a quickie re-Baptism and my friend now and forever more known as Eli wanted to get a quickie Bar Mitzvah, but sadly Jerusalem is not like Vegas. Probably a good thing in the long run.

more to come.

Monday, January 15, 2007

 

Xtinefiles in Israel


Shalom!

I'm home. I'm a little sad, I wish I could have stayed longer and I cant wait to go back.

It was a very intense journey. We saw as much as we could. From the night life in Tel Aviv to the Dead Sea, to the Old City in Jerusalem.

Every moment was breath taking. It was a clash of cultures. One moment you are standing on Jewish Holy ground surrounded by the Israeli Army, the next moment you're touching a piece of rock were Jesus was anointed, all while hearing Muslim prayers over loud speakers that echo throughout the city.

I can't fully articulate what it is truly like in Israel. I dont even think words can capture it. There is something magnetic about Jerusalem. The Western Wall vibrates. When you touch it you can feel its pulse. Everywhere I walked, everything I saw, everything I smelled and heard is so vastly different from any other place I have ever been. There is intense security, which is good because in the back of your mind you know how volatile this place is. And its no wonder why there is so much fighting. Everybody wants a piece of it.

On my final day I sat on a slab of rock right outside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem. I had a long conversation with one of our guides, Adam, a 28 year old Israeli, with an amazing perspective on the world. He said the Hezbollah in Lebanon are re-arming and he expects this summer to be a hard time for the Israelis. Then he said, "I am so glad you got to see this place now...It is the center of the universe and the center of religion and it can get destroyed at any time." That makes me deeply sad.

I'm moved in a way I cant explain and will remain forever changed from this experience.

Monday, January 01, 2007

 

Xtinefiles Goes to the Middle East


No joke.

In less then a week
Xtinefiles is off to the Holy Land for a bit of work, some self discovery and a whole lot of character building.

Stand by for Updates from Israel.

Peace be with us all.

Happy New Year.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

 

MOVIES OF THE YEAR



This year movies pretty much stank. The Oscars are going to be a joke. In fact, the Oscars are a joke! An antiquated system governed by antiquated people. So, here on Xtinefiles, I'm making my own rules. Movies of the Year go to films that made me scream YEAAAHHHH while holding back droplets of pee pee.

I hate to be graphic, but come on for a minute! Movies are supposed to keep you on the edge of your seat. They are supposed to make you want more as they throw you head on into the abyss of all that is real and unreal. They should make you think, feel, cringe, cry and scream. That is what movies are supposed to do. Period.

Movie of the Year...
SUPERMAN RETURNS
THE DEPARTED*
BORAT: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
BLOOD DIAMOND

* lets just make one thing perfectly clear...if Leo DiCaprio, Marty and Departed don't win some sort of Oscar I'm quitting da bizness. (And the Golden Globes do not count because have you ever met a member of the Hollywood foreign press? Thought not.)

I shall name my first born Leonardo Kal-El.

End Year.

Friday, December 29, 2006

 

What Will Be Movie of the Year????



Tune in New Years Eve!

 

WOMEN OF THE YEAR



1. Beyonce.
Ms. Knowles tops the list because she is a star with out the raucous. In a recent interview with Diane Sawyer, Beyonce admits that the most important thing to her right now is going home to her mom's house where she will spend the week eating fried turkey. Now, what other female celeb will admit to eating, no less eating fried turkey? bon appetite Beyonce.

2. Nancy Pelosi.
She'll be the first woman speaker of the house in US history when the congress hands over power in January. Her first order of business? Having a four day party to celebrate this historic occasion. Go Nancy Go Nancy Go!

3. Diane Sawyer.
She dresses like a Wisconsin librarian, forgetting at every turn that she is on TV and people are watching. But perhaps thats just what is most brilliant about her. The work comes first, the glamour comes second.

4. Madonna.
She cant do anything right. She's been unfairly 'crucified' in the media for the adoption of baby David, thus proving the theory that people just dont like it when celebrities do good things. Keep up the good work Madge.

5. Barbara Walters.
Say what you want about baba, she gets huge props for standing behind Rosie O'Donnell for blasting that sue happy Donald Trump (so far, that is). She also gets a big nod for her very human, funny, and genuine interaction with the Dali Lama in her recent special on Heaven.

 

MEN OF THE YEAR



1. George Clooney.
Its simple. People know what Darfur is because of him.

2. Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat.
Inbetween the sex jokes, the mispronunciations and one very large bag of poop, Borat has pointed out all of our flaws in this supposed civilized nation.

3. Martin Scorsese.
Once again Scorsese has delivered a Oscar winning movie that will probably NOT earn him the Oscar. See the Departed, weep for him in February.

4. Bono and Russell Simmons (tied).
Busy dudes? Hell yes. Time for the people? Hell yes.

5. Anderson Cooper.
Wherever the world needs him, he goes. He's been battered by hurricanes, moved to tears by humanitarian crisis, and nearly died when Hezbollah rockets flew past his head in Haifa. For those things alone, he must be on a best list!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

 

BEST NEW TELEVISION SERIES OF THE YEAR




Doctor Who

RUNNER UP:
Jericho

 

DOCUMENTARY FILMS OF THE YEAR



1. The Beauty Academy of Kabul (dir. Liz Mermin)
2. DARKON
3. So Goes The Nation (dir. Adam Del Deo and James D. Stern)
4. This Film Is Not Yet Rated (dir. Kirby Dick)
5. Word Play (dir. Patrick Creadon)
6. The Gospel of Judas

 

Ad Campaign of the Year




1. Star Wars on Cinemax set to Coldplay.
2. The Gieco Ads. Caveman goes to the therapist.
3. The GAP: Audrey Hepburn Back In Black


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

 

Best Live TV Moments of the Year


Best Live TV Moments of the Year (world wide)

1. Borat on Letterman
2. Thom York on The Henry Rollins Show
3. The Head Butt heard around the world
4. Muse on the MTV Europe Awards
5. Ozzy Osbourne on the Henry Rollins Show
6. Matt Lauer vs. George Bush on the Today show
7. Nancy Pelosi wins the house

 

Parody of the Year




The Barry Gibb Talk Show.

Talking politics and the the issues of the day.

Talking it up.

(check out 2nd place too)

Saturday, December 23, 2006

 

Coming Soon...




The 2nd Annual
Xtinefiles Year-End BEST OF Special

Saturday, December 02, 2006

 

Tiny Tim and What Not...

Top reasons why I am very excited to go to London:

5. I've been to England twice, but never around Christmas time. I'm into the idea of an English Christmas, and the folks at work have dared me to taste some figgy pudding.

4. I'm looking forward to getting all of my News from BBC1, HELLO!, OK, The Telegraph, and Sky sports.

3. It is going to be really interesting to see if the above News will be reporting on a) the war in Iraq b) crisis in the Middle east c) radiation poisoning in London d) American politics all with same fear, fury, and spin as like I am seeing on my TV right now here in the US

2. "Welcome to the Virgin Mega Store, Piccadilly Circus" boom cha boom cha boom cha. "Whats the lemon?" Time babies, time...cockney rhyming slang. oh yes.

1. Maybe Robbie will be there too.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

 

Killer Queen


I wanted to title this post Who Wants To Live Forever? But thought that too morbid.

Xtinefiles in off to London in less that a week. Mostly for work, partly to stalk Robbie, and sort of to just live the brit life. The last time I was in London was during the big millennium celebrations of 2000. I'm glad to return six years later and in honor of my glorious return I have loaded the following songs on my ipod for the journey:

Radio Ga Ga
We Are The Champions
Killer Queen
Under Pressure
Who Wants to Live Forever
The Show Must Go On
These Are the Days of Our Lives
God Save the Queen
Somebody to Love
In The Death Cell (Love Song from Flash Gordon)
Flash (Flash Gordon)
I Want to Break Free

Sunday, November 26, 2006

 

Orange Food


Sad Thanksgiving is over? Here is a recipe for you:

Sweet Potato Latkas

Sweet potatoes
Butternut Squash
Plantains
Matzo Meal
Egg

Grate the potatoes, squash and plantains into a bowl. Add egg and matzo meal. Deep fry in a pan of vegetable oil. Server hot with apple sauce or sour cream.

Follow with 2 tablespoons of pepto.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

 

Mini Cup


I'm going through significant World Cup withdrawal, and apparently I'm not the only one. This weekend DN and I attended the Viking Cup. Its a round robin tournament for soccer fans playing the game in teams representing their country of origin.

One of the attendees filled me in that even though most of the teams there were of Swedish background, they organized themselves to, at least, represent some of Europe. A Swedish team pretended to be Swiss and a mixed team represented what looked like to be Croatian uniforms. There was however one team that stood out. The ITALIANS of course!

After a day of gaming it came to down to two teams, and even though a France v. Italy rematch would have been great deep in heart of Queens, the finalist were the Swedish pretending to be Swiss verses the Italians. Guess who won? The Italians!

The best part of the day though was when I got hit in the leg with a ball gone fowl. I'm a little bruised but the Italian apology made it worth it. Ahhhh, only in Queens. Only in Queens.

Quotes of the day:

Xtine to DN: "I hope one of their balls hit me in the face"
DN faking the voice of her son to a blonde Swede: "Are you my daddy?"
Sweed#22 to Italian #11: "Svsaai Yaaaa Zvaa Edinswen" (or something like that)
Italian #11 to Italian #22: "Paolo! F%@K! Shut It, F&@K, Ass..."

Saturday, November 11, 2006

 

I II III IV V VI

If Xtinefiles had an award show and "best movie promo" was a category at that awards show Cinemax would win! As all of you by now know the movie channel Cinemax is having (for the first time ever) a Star Wars marathon. Yes, episodes 1-6 back to back all weekend. My tivo is working overtime, not just for the films but for the promo's.

A couple of weeks ago JF, SR and I were strolling through Brooklyn and we noticed signs all over the place reading "Street closed for star wars promo. Cinemax." I knew if several blocks of Brooklyn real estate were to be closed for a promo shoot, the result had to be entertaining, and it was, oh it was.

Try to catch the promo's and the marathon. Here is just a little taste

Movie clips set to Fix You (you will cry!)

Funny Promo

Monday, November 06, 2006

 

Leo D Wants an Oscar


Would someone give this man an Oscar already? And while you are at it, please give him one too.

I finally saw The Departed. My love for Leo D aside (its a deep love kids), it was amazing. The Departed was Scorsese evoking that Goodfella's spirit we love so much. I remember the year Gangs was nominated. I was standing in MBP's living room in West Hollywood when Marty was robbed by the Academy. I swore right then and there that I would never return to LA, the town the loves to rob Scorsese. Of course I have returned dozens of time. A little heart broken but hopeful that one day that rusty old Clint would be sitting in the audience watching Scorsese claim the award. Same goes for Leo. I dont know if this is the year (Flags of Our Fathers, damn it!!!). But please please let me dream.

Words cant describe the Departed. Just go see it already.

Hot Actor Factor: LEVEL 10 (x 3...sorry boys but Mark, Matt and Leo in the same movie is whole latta man)
# of itches away from the edge of my seat: 1/4 inch
#of times my friend had to poke me to point out that I was making squeaking noises during the film: 17
Bathroom visits: 0
#of in film homage's to Scarface: 1 1/2

Sunday, November 05, 2006

 

Nov. 5th



Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...


confused? go here

In need of an update? check this.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

 

Chenquieh


I braved opening night at the movies, something Leo Dicaprio can barely get me to do, but BORAT was calling. So I went and I like! No sense in writing an extensive review, I mean its Borat, you either get him or you dont. Which I might add is my only concern. Will people find him so funny that they fail to get the point? Borat in all of his satire is trying to teach us dumb Americans a thing or two. Will we learn?

Laughter Meter: Level 1, wall to wall
# of hours I spent contemplating the legal budget of the film: 3
# of minutes spent covering my eyes: 5minutes (when you see the movie, you'll know the scene)
# of bathroom breaks: 0
Hot Actor Factor: 7.4, ok I'll admit it. I have a crush on Borat.


And thanks to Borat, as of today, the following terms are now being used (liberally) in all of world...

Khram = genitals
Chenquieh= Thank you
Hand relief = masturbation
Jagshemash= how are you
Liquid explosion/ sexy time explosion/ romantic explosion = ejaculation
Sexy time (sexy intercourse) = sex
Testes satchel= scrotum
Mouth party (sex in mouth) = oral sex
Making a dirt= to defecate
Making brown = to defecate
Making romance inside= to have sexual intercourse

Sunday, October 29, 2006

 

A Hunting We Will Go


In celebration of Halloween, I've been stuck on several ghost hunting shows. Shows like A Haunting and Most Haunted have kept me moderately frightened and entertained. As a result, I've come to several compelling conclusions about possessions, hauntings, exorcisms, and the over-all evil doing un dead.


*When a family reaches their breaking point and leaving their haunted house is not an option their final attempt on eliminating the ghosts is calling in the Catholic Priest. Nobody ever seems to call a Rabbi, a Muslim Cleric or a Buddhist Monk. Sure every once in a while a shaman will show up, but for the most part de-haunting a house has become the plight of the Catholic Priest.

*During an exorcism the person calling out the spirit always screams and yells in a manner that seems to only infuriate the spirit more. Asking it to leave nicely seems totally out of the question. "Leave this house now, I command you!"

*The Night Vision Goggle Green Light Re-inactments: Why the hell would you ghost hunt in the dark?

*With regard to the Catholic Priest. Any Priest has the authority to perform a common exorcism, that is excising evil from a home or place. However, the Vatican must approve any attempt on an exorcism of a possessed person or persons. As in, "lick me lick me" and "the power of Christ compels you"

*Thanks to the Sixth Sense suddenly everyone is an expert. A light chill in the room? Clearly the house is haunted. Hairs raised on the back of your neck? Oh yeah, thats a ghost for sure.

*Advice to Ghost Hunters: Dont scream out, "Show yourself you evil bastard, I'm not scared of you!" and then scream like a little girl when the unplugged tv mysteriously turns on by itself. wuss.

Happy Hunting.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

 

Confirm or Deny


I just watched the controversial documentary Loose Change. The film Loose Change is a deeply concerning documentary that systematically pulls apart the details of September 11th providing a view point that clearly implicates the Government as the cause, catalyst and beneficiary of the Attacks. Some the the theories the film presents are not only plausible in its presentation but also quite alarming. The film maker never wavers in his point of view and never presents an alternative argument to his thesis. A lot of people are understandably pissed off about this film, but I have the feeling that was the intent.

This film is not a masterpiece by any means (the film has various versions due to legalities, fair use footage, copyright issues and an issue of Popular Mechanics which was devoted to debunking the whole film) and true this is only one of dozens of docs about 9/11 conspiracies. And of course whether or not you believe in the film makers 'conspiracy theory' is up to you. But what is refreshing is that now (more than ever) there is a willingness to question and consider new possibilities. And, I appreciate that this willingness is coming from a younger demographic.

Age of the film maker Dylan Avery: 22 years old
At the time of this post: 2,548,331 have dowloaded the film
According to a New York Times/CBS poll: only 16% of Americans believe the government is telling the truth on what it knew prior to the terrorist attacks

watch the doc here:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7866929448192753501&q=loose+change+recut

Thursday, October 19, 2006

 

Ghosts, Fairies, Aliens and Dust Balls


This photo was taken of me last night at a party. Yes, I know my eyes are very telling (wine, rum, wine, rum, wine, etc) but that is not the point. The point is, above my head is an Orb. Some people say Orbs are just dust particles in the air or simple light reflections into camera lenses. Others however think Orbs are spirits, ghosts, guardian angels, fairies, or alien monitoring systems.

I was kind of on the fence about all of that, but 73 pictures were taken last night and I was the only person who had an Orb hovering above them. And as a result of my massive Internet research on the subject of Orbs I am totally freaked out!

What do you think? Discuss.

here is what the experts say:
ghost study
hollow hill

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