XtineFiles

I watched Kingdom of Heaven . A film about the Crusades or the taking of Jerusalem or the defending of Jerusalem or something like that, to be honest I am still not sure. For the first twenty minutes I was totally un-amused. I figured this film, despite the fact that it is a Ridley Scott movie, was made for only two logical reasons. The first being to establish Orlando Bloom as sex symbol poised to be a mega leading man. The second to get another use out of all of those costumes that have been laying around since Clive Owen played King Arthur.

Back to the film. By minute 21 I gave into the Bloom-ness and actually began to enjoy the film for reasons I can't explain.

If you are in the mood for an epic about 1184 Jerusalem or if you just want to see Orlando Bloom run around with a sword then boy oh boy this is the film for you. And if you are really feeling lucky watch the DVD with the "pilgrim" function on. It is a nifty box on screen that gives you fun facts about the Crusades and what not. If the Crusades and Bloom aren't your bag- better skip it.

Hot Actor Factor: 10
Year of the First Crusade: 1095 AD
#of times during the film I considered adding Orlando Bloom to my top 20: 3
The word 'sword' comes from the Old English word 'sweord' and the German word 'swerd': meaning "wounding tool"
Average Price of a Sword at a Medieval festival: $250

(Note to self: got to find the raw footage of your interview with Orlando Bloom from the Lord of The Rings press junket...I knew he was going to be a star!).