Sunday, November 06, 2005

 

Kingdom of Heaven


I watched Kingdom of Heaven . A film about the Crusades or the taking of Jerusalem or the defending of Jerusalem or something like that, to be honest I am still not sure. For the first twenty minutes I was totally un-amused. I figured this film, despite the fact that it is a Ridley Scott movie, was made for only two logical reasons. The first being to establish Orlando Bloom as sex symbol poised to be a mega leading man. The second to get another use out of all of those costumes that have been laying around since Clive Owen played King Arthur.

Back to the film. By minute 21 I gave into the Bloom-ness and actually began to enjoy the film for reasons I can't explain.

If you are in the mood for an epic about 1184 Jerusalem or if you just want to see Orlando Bloom run around with a sword then boy oh boy this is the film for you. And if you are really feeling lucky watch the DVD with the "pilgrim" function on. It is a nifty box on screen that gives you fun facts about the Crusades and what not. If the Crusades and Bloom aren't your bag- better skip it.

Hot Actor Factor: 10
Year of the First Crusade: 1095 AD
#of times during the film I considered adding Orlando Bloom to my top 20: 3
The word 'sword' comes from the Old English word 'sweord' and the German word 'swerd': meaning "wounding tool"
Average Price of a Sword at a Medieval festival: $250

(Note to self: got to find the raw footage of your interview with Orlando Bloom from the Lord of The Rings press junket...I knew he was going to be a star!).

Comments:
I'm a huge Ridley Scott fan, but I missed this one in the theaters and I'm regretting it now. It's been at the top of my Netflix queue since the day it was released on DVD, but they keep skipping it and shipping me other stuff. The only reason I didn't buy it is because I'm hoping for the three disc mega-ultra-director's cut sometime next year...
 
dont know why but i could never get into those kinds of movies
 
King Arthur really tanked. Unfortunately I bought it before I watched it or knew anything about it. Is this any better? (wait, scratch that, anything's better than King Arthur, right?)
Usually those "back in the day" movies just aren't very good; why I don't know.
 
On flicks like this, where I've secretly already tired of the director and star, it takes a miracle for me to begrudgingly even Tivo them. I am such a fuddy duddy.
 
orlando may be a pretty boy but i've yet to see him extablish screen chemistry with anyone in a film, this one included. i'm not sold on him being a leading man even w/ his looks to be honest.

i thought this was pretty bad myself.
 
Netflix finally got this around to me this weekend. Although it seemed many scenes had been cut out of the movie, it was still entertaining. Lots of crazy killing/battle scenes. Must say if Mr. Bloom wasn’t in it I may have lost interest, just too pretty to turn off.
 
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