XtineFiles

Or at least he did in my dream last night. It went something like this...

Scientologists backed by an army of aliens (that sort of resembled a mini two headed purplish David Hasselhoff) were attacking people on the streets of the New York City suburbs. It was terrible, really. People running in and out of diners, car dealerships and nail salons screaming and crying. Tom and Katie were not there thank goodness but the threat of them hung around all of us.

Suddenly one really smart man who didn't speak English threw a piece of puffed pastry at one of the Hasselhoffs. It seemed that the Hassehoffs were weakened by the puffed pastry. People began tossing pigs in the blanket, cheese puffs and baklava (though I think that baklava is made from fyllo pastry and not puff pastry--bloghunrgy help?).

Inspired by the man who spoke no English, the crowd began to organize. Some of us would cook the pastry while others tossed the pastry. We were getting control over the Hasselhoffs but the scientologists would not relent. With each retreating Hasselhoff came a more determined scientologist. Soon we all began to loose hope.

Then suddenly Denis Leary- pissed off, slightly hung over and desperate for smoke showed up carrying a tool box. The crowd stood there silent as Denis Leary began to toss the two headed mini purple Hasselhoffs one by one into the basement of my parents house (WTF?). When all of Hasselhoffs were gone Leary started on the scientologists. They didn't go easy but Leary managed to get them all down there. When the last of scientologists was tossed in the basement he pulled out a hammer and box of nails and began to nail the basement door shut.

Slowly the world returned to normal and that is when I woke up.

Scary as hell.