Monday, July 25, 2005


Thank You Sir, May I Have Another

For those of you lucky enough to escape seeing Million Dollar Baby in the movies, I applaud you. I avoided it too. But, its out on DVD and against my better judgment I rented it. I don't recommend this movie. And here's why:

Number of times Hilary Swank made me want to schedule a dental visit: 4
Bathroom visits: 11 (but I think thats because I ran out of tissues and had to use toilet paper)
Number of times I expected the voice of Mickey to come out of nowhere and say, "You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder": 1
Number of times I expected Apollo Creed to say, "when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man- the edge!": 0
Number of times the film successfully pulled at my heart strings: 308
Number of minutes spent hiding under my bed like a crying weeping mess after the end credits: 53 minutes

If you need a Clint Eastwood induced melt down or if you are into that self torture thing, by all means see this movie. If not, I suggest you TiVo the Surreal Life and call it a night.

Hilary Swank makes me feel violent. She's got this smugness that an academy award only encourages. A female boxer that dies a bloody death in the ring.. truely inspiring. I haven't seen the movie and plan to keep it that way. It's about as unappealing as a movie could be to me that doesn't involve Nick Cage, Tom Cruise, or Quinten Tarantino.
I personally would love to watch Hills Swank get brutally beat up to death (on film, in real life, whatever) but I'm not gon bother with this movie... I get the feeling Clint Eastwood has a strange agenda he's trying to promote with his Oscar-ready films and I for one won't get caught up in his agenda.
this is one of the more over rated films in years. a completely manipulative, hokey piece of silly i'm glad i'm not alone on this one.

i saw it in the tried to make me cry multiple times but i refused to let it get to me and left the theatre thinking "big deal".
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